Friday, August 1, 2008

To Pray or Not to Pray?

About a few months ago, someone challenged me to pray for my future husband. She advised me that it's a genuine prayer and that with God, it's never too much to ask for.

But to be honest, it seemed like a silly prayer and at times, it still does. I'd say because it's too much of an open book. I was clustered with questions before I could even start to pray. And let me tell you now that there is no "How To:" manual on this one because it's simply.. very simply, faith.

So as I began praying for this man of mine with no expectation or knowledge of what should and will happen next, I felt dumb. The more questions I had, the more apprehensive I started to become and the more doubtful, the more complacent .. it started from "I'm only 19" to "I'm not even dating" to "I don't want to grow this fast because the more you learn, the more that's expected of you". Purpose started to lose itself in my doubt like quicksand.
But surely enough, God never fails to get his message through to me.

I realized that my habit and attitude towards this wasn't just about my future husband.. it was about everything I attended for in my life.. everything I prayed about. He showed me through my lack of faith and my precarious prayers that I come to our God underestimating His will. I mean, I know eventually I'll get to the whole marriage ordeal.. but if I can't solidly pray for what I know is already going to happen, how can I ever believe that God will do something for me that is unseen or uncertain?
When comes those mountains hidden by clouds, I'll need bigger faith to let God take me to the other side.

Faith is perseverance and perseverance is faith.