Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Honesty is a crinkled heart

"... it’s not about cherry-wood flooring. No, life is about love and truly experiencing the beauty we are meant to know." - K.H., Nella's story

I read this story twice in a row and a third time the next day because it was such a touching story... it wasn't so much the content or moral of her story that hit me, rather it was the author's honesty. She was completely honest with her emotions and it made me really appreciate her writing, her story.
To quickly reiterate, she told of her experience giving birth to a daughter with down syndrome- her first reaction, her train of thoughts, the emotional pain, and the hours upon hours of crying.. She wrote about how she wanted to run away with her first daughter and their perfect "cupcake" world because she didn't want to face this different life her new child would bring.

As I was reading this story, my heart crinkled.. and it wasn't so much for the story.. but, again, for the telling of the story. She was so real to herself and about what she was afraid of. Then I started to think: "Am I being honest with myself?.. maybe, maybe not.. and if not, why not?" I went through a string of why's and kept turning in circles until I decided to continue reading her story through to the end. And that's when reading the quote above stopped my circling... That I am very afraid to stray away from my cupcake world. I know life is more but am I experiencing it? Am I really being sincere about the relationships in my life? Do I understand love, know love, and have love? These questions, I hope, won't bother me for long as I try to be less naive and more aware.

Well the beautiful part about her story is that it ends with a tearful smile. In her complete honesty, she found truth.. and truth is love.

1 comment:

wordSunspoken said...

cute...really heartfelt...and completely agree