Life of Simplicity

Today was a good day at The Bridge. Pastor Trevor Moss spoke about living a life of simplicity and how we seem to bump into so many roadblocks along the way.

A man gave a short testimony about his near-death experience from a surgery he underwent a year ago. It was two weeks of desperately trying to save his life and afterwards he endured another 7 weeks of recovery. He said that during this time he realized that he had forgotten about the simple things in life. He was just running on adrenaline and eventually lost sight of what the most important things meant to him, like having a family.

It was no surprise to me that this man needed a near-death experience to make him start enjoying the blessings of his life, because I know I'm the same. I'm afraid that I'm quickly forgetting about what matters most to me. As I continue to steep into my daily routine, I know I'm losing sight of roadblocks... and that means I'm becoming vulnerable to that saying "You just don't know what hit you until it hits you".

God made man simple; man's complex problems are of his own devising. (Ecclesiastes 7:29)

Also, sometimes I wonder what is it that I really, truly want in life? This morning I actually felt something tug at my heart and tell me that having everything will never compensate for missing that one thing called 'freedom' in the Lord. Have I become the victim of my own selfishness and pride? Am I deceiving myself into thinking that I am free to do whatever I want, to have whatever I want, when and wherever I want? At the end of the day, does having and doing these things truly make my heart feel at peace?

The bible tells us that the place where our treasure is, is where you should want to be, and where you will end up being. Do I store up treasures here on a decaying earth or do I place my treasures in God's kingdom?

Lastly, living a life of simplicity challenges us by asking "what matters most?". Even if I can become the most affluent and influential woman in this world and a mother of a perfect family, all of it will be worth nothing if I do not know or have the love of God. Therefore, at the end of the day, I yearn for the love of God who provides for my needs and wants, who heals me from pain, and who encourages me to be stronger than mountains.

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:33-34

Worry Wort

Yesterday I attended The Bridge Markham Pentecostal Church and heard Pastor Brian Childs speak on Worry- part one of the "Stepping Up" series.

Definitions of "worry"

- To choke or strangle (Old English)

- A divided mind (Greek)

Myth: I can control my life by worrying about it.

Truth: Worrying makes us miserable in the moment.

The words he spoke hit home for me. These past two months has only been about worry. I question as to how I've been moving through the days. I look back and see that although my worries may have driven me here to this day, it comes with consequences. I cannot trust the things that are so easy to trust and he explained it perfectly saying that "worry and trust cannot coexist in the mind".

I know God has been telling me lately that I need to enjoy each moment and that worrying about yesterday or tomorrow forces you to forget about the blessings of today. I owe unending thanks to my Lord but at most times I cannot help but fret and be a worry wort. I do not know how to feel thankful because I have not been able to trust in God. Pastor Childs also mentioned that "worry is unchristian in a sense that although we are God's children, we act like orphans!".

Have we been acting like completely lost and foolish sheep? Have we forgotten the implications of our salvation? For Christians, our roots lay as children of God and it is inherent that we become stewards of love, joy, peace...

The Painting Competition: My adaptation

There once was a king who commissioned a painting competition among his people. The chosen winner would be the one who accurately depicted the image of peace. After thousands of rejections, it came down to two very different paintings. The first painting was of a serene river leading to a soft mountain, with clear blue skies, angelic white clouds, and animals resting. All the people praised this image and said it perfectly depicts peace and should win first prize.

The second painting, on the other hand, showed violent raging waters leading to a dark and ridged mountain, with stormy skies and lightning in the clouds. Off in the corner of the painting was a wind-struck tree and among the branches was a mother bird caring for her babies, feeding them.

The king decided that the second painting was the best depiction of peace and the confused people asked for his reasoning. He responded, "Peace is not the absence of conflict, rather peace is a state of mind amidst chaos."

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? --Matthew 6:25

The Stand

You stood before my failure
And carried the cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what could I say?
And what could I do?
But offer this heart, Oh God
Completely to you

I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the one who gave it all

Final Year Begins

I can't believe I only have one more year left of undergrad and then I'm done. I still feel incredibly young to be graduating, to be working full-time career mode. Feels like life is moving very fast. When do I ever get to just soak in the moment?

This is a picture I took early morning trying to catch the sunrise at the Grand Canyon.

God is beautiful and He makes beautiful things. How can I not marvel at this phenomenon?

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Here's a song I've been emotionally attached to for the past while. Haha, when I find a song I feel I can connect to, I obsess over it and have it on repeat for days and even weeks at a time. Below are the lyrics.. hehe.

Above the Golden State - The Sound of Your Name

I tried and tried
A thousand times I tried to get to You
But I could never move
I had to lie
I’d fall behind and blame it all on You
‘Cause I still hate to lose

Towers fall and kingdoms crumble
Mountains bow and the earth will tremble
At the sound of Your name
The strong man falls to Him who humbles
The plans he made were bound to stumble
And only You remain

I cried and cried
A thousands tears I cried because of You
I lost my one excuse
I had to die along with everything inside of me removed
But now I live with You

What does he/she bring out of me?

"A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your posibilities." - Allen Ward

Booster Juice

Lately I've been dreading at the fact that I will be entering my 4th year university.. I do not feel prepared for what is to come.. the end of the tunnel is far but near and there's no more shying away.

So I met an old acquaintance the other day and was introduced to an interesting spiritual gift- soul peering, reading, or however you call it. You know how they say you can see a person's soul their through eyes? She could do that!

Over dessert at my friend's birthday party, we were off to the side in our own deep conversation about life. I was telling her that I wanted to exercise my efforts on a path that will better lead me to my potential. I expressed to her my crave to help people, to write novels, and for being a deep-thinker and an abstract. I'm taking this summer school course on Psychology of Women and I shamelessly love it. There is something I love about understanding how our cognitive ability works and why certain emotions come in play. There is something about the way society behaves and influences us and how, as Christians, we are dragged into a tug-of-war. I know I can never grasp this all fully but I want to learn. She concluded that I possess the quality of teachability, which is crucial because Stubbornness never finds its way- it's always chasing its tail.

At one point, she asked me a very frank question: "Do you know who you are?"

I couldn't give her a definite answer and it wasn't because I don't have a grasp of my identity. I am still trying to figure out in the best words what I feel in my heart. So naturally I told her about my experience in the Grand Canyon and that I, without a doubt, felt the sovereignty of the Lord. I described it as a very emotional feeling.. but she insisted it was rather spiritual. That had been the Holy Spirit in me. I didn't really realize until I felt it that I missed it. It scared me that I could actually forget this feeling, what it is and where it comes from.. you know, that incredibly humbling and empowering sense when God is giving you a "moment"?

Finally she told me, "I am not worried for you one bit."

This was the first conversation we had other than a "Hi, hello, how are you." It was really great.

I suppose my confidence for 4th year has renewed..

I just need to remind myself that if I meet God there, He will meet me with armour.